not so hot

i keep wanting to post a blog about how good i'm doin... maybe it's cuz i can't find a support group, you know. it's just me. chasin dominic. beggin dad to watch dominic so i can go to class or do homework. me texting some guy in another state desperately hoping he'll write back... i don't even care what he says as long as it isn't mean. I wish i could stop feeling desperate. I hold my head up, carry myself like i know who i am, what i want and where i'm going... but at the end of the day when all i got is facebook and netflix well, if i accidentally let myself think about it i just start crying. I don't know who i am, i don't know what i want or where i'm going... i just keep moving fast enough to keep myself from falling to pieces. I guess i figure if i keep my hands and mind occupied i'll be ok. i wish i could say more... but i'm speechless. i'm not doin so hot guys.