shoulda, coulda, woulda, all hid from a little did.
oh man... such a quaint saying and yet so damningly true! haha... i'm so far behind on my homework in math... and i know i just have myself to blame. I should not have gone to coos bay this weekend, i should've stayed home and worked on my homework every night and i would've been totally fine. sigh.
my stomach is growling but i can't think of anything to eat... my brain is all mushy... i think it's melting out my ears!!!
sigh... so i've been really angry all day.
i let my hopes raise ever so slightly and then they were dashed cruelly.
i've begun to wonder how long i'm supposed to be single for... a year, or two, or three? or forever?
being called ambiguous ticked me off, and paranoid and crazy... maybe he's right. maybe i'm a psychopath doomed to singleness forever- but i really, really hope not.
i know i have issues... but i'm doing all i can to face them, to overcome them, to be honest about them and deal with them. isn't that what life is about? facing obstacles and overcoming them? not running away when things get uncomfortable... sigh.
i've been studying since 8pm... and dominic will be up in 7 hours... i want my full 7 hours of sleep because i have school from 12-8pm tomorrow... a normal work day for most i suppose. i need a job now, because i need to put Dom in daycare. i'm so sad and stressed... my stomach is still growling. silly tummy...
i'm having a hard time being optomystic... staying focused on the Prize and doing what i ought. feel like i'm slipping back into the blackness and i'm too tired to even reach out for help...
shoulda, coulda, woulda, all hid from a little did.
Mary! Consider this your LIFE PRESERVER that will encircle you and rescue you!
ReplyDeletePsa 16:6-11 The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places; yea, I have a goodly heritage.
I will bless the LORD, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.
I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.
For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption.
Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.
Aaaaahhh - as difficult as it is - just keep focused - - - don't look at the storm - look at the Lord. Don't look at the pain of disappointment - look at the ONE who will never disappoint you! CHOOSE where you will look. CHOOSE whom you will serve. It's not about emotion - it's about choosing.
Praying for you.
Hey pretty lady, the things that were spoken over you this weekend were NOT from God. Your God LOVES you (1 John 3:1, Jeremiah 31:3), He CHOSE you (Ephesians 1), He created you and thinks that you're wonderful, He thinks about you ALL the time, and He has a lot of GREAT plans for you (Psalm 139, Jeremiah 29:11), and He will FINISH what He started in you (Philippians 1:6).
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard.
And the race is long.
And being single really sucks. Especially at night time.
But God didn't come to be with us only when life feels good and we're happy and there's a handsome guy in our lives. The reason that Psalm 34 says that "God is close to the brokenhearted and He saves those who are crushed in spirit" is because there are days when we're going to be brokenhearted. And you know what? God is still God. And He still loves you a LOT. And there's nothing you can do to change that.
Girl, you're a priceless jewel (Isaiah 32:3).
And yes. I want you to go look up all of those verses and read them. Out loud. Right now. DO IT! ;-)
I LOVE YOU!!!!!