A new way in the wilderness...

Dear Jason, dear everyone who was affected by my relationship with Jason,
I am sorry.
I'm sorry for the selfish way I behaved.
I'm sorry for all the selfish things I said, for speaking slanderously of you, Jason.
I'm sorry for not ending it sooner and leaving it alone like I knew God wanted.
I'm sorry for being so hung up on him, for not letting it go, for not letting God be the judge.
I'm sorry for casting stones at you with my words, whether to your face or behind your back, Jason, I'm sorry.
Jason- I don't hate you. I'm sorry I said that I hated you. I'm so sorry Jesus, that I said I hated you, and everyone, I'm sorry I said I hated myself. I was so selfish, so wrong. Can you, all of you, forgive me?

Dear Jason,
I forgive you. For the pain your actions caused me, for the way your words affected my heart. I forgive you. God forgave so, so much more for me, how can I be so proud and stuck up that I would refuse to forgive you? Please forgive me for this, it was so wrong of me to withhold forgiveness from you for so long.

Dear Jason,
God gave me a vision for your life. I was telling Him how mad I was at you, how I hated you, and then he gave me a vision. He told me that you Jason, belong to Jesus. He told me you will not always be held captive to the spiritual strongholds you have given yourself over to. He told me that i will forget the evil things you did and will only speak good of you, for His name's sake. He said that He WILL be glorified through your life.

Dearest Jason,
Though I have finally come to a place where I forgive you and wish you no harm, please, I cannot be close to you. I cannot be your friend. I'm far, far weaker than I thought I was. I've gotta do what's right and that means I can't be your friend. I've spent so much time, thinking about all of the bad, but there was so much good. I can't hold onto this anymore, I need to let it go completely, so please accept my apology and my forgiveness. I know receiving it in blog form is weird, but I just want you to know that I am willing to admit to the whole world that I was wrong in the way I spoke about you. I just, I hope you understand. Follow God, He will never lead you astray.